


Snake Heart

by Fair_Feather_Friend



Category: Original Work
Genre: Comedy, Djinni & Genies, Dragons, Fairy Tale Curses, Fairy Tale Elements, Fantasy, Human/Monster Romance, M/M, Magical Inheritance, Monster Boy, Romance, Snakes, Technically he's a snake not a genie but much the same themes, Urban Fantasy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-12
Updated: 2019-11-12
Packaged: 2021-01-29 02:21:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21402568
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fair_Feather_Friend/pseuds/Fair_Feather_Friend
Summary: "Daniel, you'll never amount to anything," Grandfather had said in his reasonable way. "You are soft, weak. You need to be ruthless to succeed. You need to defend what is yours."Daniel had nodded obediently and said 'yes, grandfather,' without truly believing it.But now Daniel's grandfather is dead, and Daniel has just one item to remember him by, left to him in the will was a gaudy necklace that may be worthless. When an almost naked snake-boy named Ysandro shows up in Daniel's house and claims the family heirloom is actually his, Daniel must decide what to do.Alternatively: Cursed angry snake boy tries to retrieve his heart, and fails miserably to flirt with the cute boy that inherited it.
Relationships: Angry Snake Boy/Oblivious Mortal
Comments: 17
Kudos: 72





	1. Two Hearts Are Not Better Than One

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Jewel Monster](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21367864) by [Scarlet_Claws](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scarlet_Claws/pseuds/Scarlet_Claws). 

> I read Jewel Monster by ScarletClaws and I absolutely loved the premise of it. The characters are original, but the basic premise is very heavily inspired by Jewel Monster.

_Once upon a time, there was a young man named Jack, as all young men were named in those days. Jack had more kindness than sense, and despite being a hardworking boy, he would have given his last penny if anyone had asked for it. The townspeople were wise to his flaws, and they did what they could to protect him from the useless layabouts who would rather beg than engage in proper labour. But they could never protect Jack from himself. _

_One harsh winter, while out fetching firewood, Jack came across a snake in the snow. The creature was starved, half-frozen and surely would die if he left it there. Any other would have left it, but not Jack. Instead he picked it up, placed it within his jacket, and carried it home along with the wood._

_All winter Jack nursed it back to health. He let it lie in the warmest spots of his room, while he himself shivered. He laboured hard to bring in wood just to keep it warm. It slept in his bed, and it ate all his food, while he lay on the floor and went without. . _

_Time after time Jack's neighbours warned him against the snake. The snake was a malingerer, taking advantage of him. Snakes were dangerous they said. Only a fool would invite a snake into his home. _

_Jack insisted that the snake would never harm him. He had saved its life after all, nursed it back to health, shared everything he had with it. They continued to warn him but Jack refused to listen to facts or reason._

_It was a hard winter, made harder by the extra burden he had to care for. The Snake never once helped with anything, all it did was lounge around all day draining Jack's resources, taking without ever giving back. _

_The snows finally thawed, spring came, and the Snake thought to itself, that this was a mighty fine house and it never wished to leave. Why should it after all when everything was given to it, its every whim catered to? _

_And so this continued, Jack worked, and the Snake refused to do so, until one day Jack met a pretty girl that he thought he might marry one day. He returned home to tell the Snake of his joy, but the Snake did not share in that happiness. They argued, and since Jack knew the girl would not like living with a snake, he asked it to leave. Furious, the snake bit Jack, because it was a snake and that's what snakes do. _

_When you grow older you will realise that people are always out for themselves. Kindness is a weakness for others to exploit. They will take what is rightfully yours until there is nothing left, and then they will bite you and move on, leaving you with nothing but poison in your blood. _

~

Daniel always loved Grandfather's stories, he listened to all of them avidly, and filed them away in the same place that all other fairy tales went. His cousins, who were always smarter, stronger, better than he was, took the lessons to heart. And then they'd used the lesson to take Daniel's favourite toys and anything else he expressed an interest in.

"Daniel, you'll never amount to anything," Grandfather had said in his reasonable way. "You are soft, weak. You need to be ruthless to succeed. You need to defend what is yours."

Daniel had nodded obediently and said 'yes, grandfather,' without truly believing it. He knew his grandfather just wanted the best for him, but he did not want to become like his cousins, with their hearts of gold. Most thought that hearts of gold was a good thing, but no, gold was cold, uncaring and had no room for anything but itself. 

"You'll learn. The world will teach you how cruel it is. When that happens, come to me."

But Daniel hadn't. When he'd failed his exams and his family had kicked him out, and he'd been shown the truth of the world, he hadn't gone to his grandfather. Instead he'd closed his eyes and hoped for better. 

"Daniel, if you could have any one of the treasures within this house to take home what would it be?" Grandfather had asked on another occasion. 

Daniel knew his cousins had all been asked the same question. It was a game, they wouldn't actually get whatever they asked for but their grandfather liked to know which of his items they liked the best. Sometimes the answers were clever, sometimes they were imaginative, usually they were for the biggest, fanciest, most expensive things, or a wardrobe they could put the rest inside.. 

Daniel hadn't given it much thought but now asked he smiled brightly. It was easy. Everything else was just things. "You!" and he'd hugged his grandfather, getting his hair ruffled and an actual laugh for the response.

"I'm not a treasure."

"Yes you are. You're the best treasure there is." Daniel felt queasy even remembering it. Had he ever actually said something so cloyingly sweet? 

"Not that, choose something else."

Daniel thought of it, if there'd been a dog or a cat maybe he'd have picked that, but they weren't really things ever. His eyes caught the glint of a gold chain on his grandfather's neck. "Then I'd like your necklace."

"It's just a piece of junk, not worth anything at all."

"You wear it closest to your heart. If I can't have you living with us, telling all your stories, then I'd like it. But only when you don't want it anymore."

Daniel's grandfather had clearly remembered that request. 

Daniel had not been invited to the funeral, but he went anyway. No one had informed him of his grandfather's illness, or demise, but he was fortunate enough to have a customer who hadn't known their relationship mention it. He'd always assumed the old man would be immortal. 

"If you're here for money, he didn't leave you anything," his Aunt had snapped. "Just a piece of junk. We had it appraised. It's not worth anything, he just left it to you so you'd have no reason to contest the rest of the will. Now sign here." Daniel had signed, taken the envelope filled with the very heavy necklace and went home. He hadn't even looked at it.

He was just glad to not be a witness to the vultures picking over his grandfather's corpse, taking everything he owned, everything he had loved, and setting a price to it all. 

Daniel made himself a cup of tea when he got home, in the real tea-pot, he'd been given for Xmas one year, and not in his mug. His grandfather had always liked things done properly, and he would have approved of the teapot even if he hadn't approved of anything else about Daniel's 'chosen lifestyle'. He didn't have any fine china, but at least the cup was clean. 

He slumped onto the couch, exhaustion weighing down his limbs. He'd not slept the last few nights, the mere thought of the funeral, of seeing his family again, filling him with dread, and yet he'd felt obliged to attend, to say one last goodbye to who he might have been.

Daniel allowed himself a moment to savour the steam of the tea, cradling the cup in both hands, the chill in his bones seeping away. Only once he was a little more settled did he open the envelope to get a proper look at the necklace. 

Worthless. Junk. Just like him.

Oh but it was beautiful. Now as an adult he could see that most would think it gaudy. It was huge, tasteless, as a child he'd thought it the greatest treasure he'd ever seen. He'd assumed that his memories as a child were inaccurate, surely it could not be as huge as he remembered, but if anything it was moreso. A large clunky medallion that had done battle with good taste and lost. It would clash with anything. The gleaming red stone in the centre was too bright, too beautiful, and far too big to be anything but glass. The gold snake, curled protectively around the outside, must be paste. Or was it gems that were paste and metal plate? He'd never had much interest in such things.

Daniel's grandfather, for some reason, had treasured it, always worn it close to his heart, and had clearly thought enough of Daniel to bequeath it to him. Daniel cradled it in his warmed hands, then raised the stone to his lips and kissed it. He missed his grandfather and the relationship they might have had, had everything not gone so wrong. 

"You forgot my tea."

Daniel started at the sound of that melodious voice, gaze darting around, searching for the speaker. It was not his grandfather, for all his grandfather was just as blunt and abrupt. And that was a relief since Daniel had no idea what he'd have done if the ghost of his grandfather had suddenly shown up. 

No instead, there, standing before him, hands on hips was a boy? Man? Snake? Bird. It was hard to tell. There stood a confusion, not that the boymansnakebird was confused, Daniel was. In his confusion he must have slipped the necklace around his neck without even thinking of it. 

The visitor… guest… intruder… was short, delicate, and oh so beautiful. Fine boned with exquisite features. Scales dappled the sides of his face, a reptilian tongue flicked out to taste the air. 

Where hair should be, a crest of glossy feathers sprouted from his head. The long, black, brown, and gold-tipped plumes trail back like some extravagant head-dress. 

Feathered wings spilled down his arms, or no... was it just a cloak? Either way it gave him some much needed weight to his presence. Otherwise he was just thin and small and oh so pretty. 

His entire body, most of which was on display on account of him just wearing a wrap on his hips, was covered with shimmering scales; warm metallic shades of gold, copper and bronze. No navel… how did that even… it was strange, and no Daniel's gaze was not going to dip lower. Look at the face, which he did. 

That face was human enough in features, apart from his golden eyes, which were slit like those of a snake and his mouth which is graced with delicately curved, sharp fangs. Long-fingered, graceful hands are tipped with short copper talons, and standing, barefoot as he is, it's obviously his toes end in claws too.

He was just so exquisite and lovely and finally Daniel must have snapped or maybe they'd slipped him something, dust in the envelope, a contact poison on the necklace... oh no he'd touched his lips to it, and now he was hallucinating or fallen asleep.

"You can kiss my feet first, but then I want my tea." 

OH! He'd been staring. At feet. Better than the alternatives. 

Tea. Daniel gulped his cup down. TEA? Had it been poisoned? Was he doing mad? Did mad people know they were mad. 

"Tea." The snake boy stated as if reading Daniel's mind. 

Daniel did, what anyone would do in the situation, and he hurried to the kitchen to get another mismatched cup, and poured a second cup of tea from the pot.

"Rude. I want sugar."

Did he even have sugar? Why did his hallucination want sugar? Was this some sort of message from his subconscious. Daniel searched in his clutter drawer, finding the little packets he'd liberated from the staff canteen and thrust them at the intruder, who dropped them one by one into his cup, without even bothering to open them first. 

Daniel didn't have the energy. He considered saying something and sighed, sinking back into… the chair since the snake boy had stolen his spot on the couch. Daniel took a sip of tea to settle his nerves.

"It's not very good tea."

"Well you're not a very good boy."

"I'm not a boy," the intruder stated proudly. "I'm a Snake." 

"You have feathers," Daniel pointed out. None of this was real.

"Yes. I am the best Snake. It is cold in here. Make it warm."

Daniel could mention the ridiculous cost of heating his flat, tiny as it was. He could have said it wasn't that cold. He could have loaned the Snake a sweater that would have swamped his slender figure. He got up again, he went to the thermostat, turning it up, and then putting the heating on. The radiators groaned in protest, cracking loudly. On the way back he snagged a blanket and gave it to the Snake.

"It'll take a little time to heat up. So this is a dream or... OW!!!"

The Snake struck, lightning fast, biting him, he made the sound of shock before he even felt the pain. Short, sharp, two puncture marks on his hand. 

"You bit me!"

"Is it a dream?" The Snake asked, looking exceptionally proud of itself. 

"What answer will make you bite me again?"

"Guess," The Snake smirked. 

"Okay. I'll play along. It's all real." 

"Yes. No more stupid questions."

"What are you?"

"Rude. What are you?"

"I know you are," Daniel said. "I'm Daniel."

"No. You're Rude. Rudeboy."

"What should I call you?" Daniel tried again.

"Ysandro."

"Okay. Now we've been formally introduced, Ysandro, what're you doing in my house?"

"Hovel," Ysandro corrected.

"Rude!" it was Daniel's turn to snap back. Ysandro glared. "Fine. What are you doing in my hovel?"

"You have something of mine and I want it back."

"What?" Daniel asked as if the agitated Snake was not staring at the medallion.

"Stupid question." Ysandro hissed. "You know what. You received it today. It was a mistake. It's mine."

"It's not worth anything."

Ysandro hissed, crest flaring and threw himself at Daniel, clawed hands going for his neck... or the medallion but at the last moment steadying themselves on shoulders instead. "It is worth everything. EVERYTHING." He yelled in Daniel's face.

Daniel threw his hands out to protect himself, and then, sort of moved Ysandro onto the arm of the chair. "Okay." Daniel said softly. "I'm sorry. It's worth everything. Can you explain why? And uh, what it means to you? And why it's yours? It's the only thing my grandfather left me."

"It wasn't his to leave. It's mine." Shoulders slumped, feathers flattered and for a moment, Ysandro just looked so dejected. 

"That's not true. It was his when I was a child. I remember him wearing it. And you're, what younger than me I'd guess."

"Wrong. Stupid rude boy. It is mine. He promised to give it back to me. He promised." A frantic edge crept into Ysandro's voice.

"Yeah, Grandfather made a lot of promises he didn't keep. This is a family heirloom. It's been with us for generations. It's not of any monetary value otherwise I would not have it."

Ysandro bristled. 

"Tell me why you think it belongs to you."

"I don't think it. I know it."

-  
_  
Once upon a time, there was a Snake and he was the most beautiful, talented, perfect Snake in the entire world. He loved the world and it loved him, and to him all things were joy. He did not know that the Sun would betray him, growing colder, spending less and less time basking in his glow. He did not know that the white feathers that fell from the sky, so beautiful to look at, spelled certain death. That when the world was at its most pristine beauty, it was also its most deadly. _

_The snow took the Snake unawares. He had not known to hide from it, had not known that Winter was not his friend but a deadly foe that leeched the life from his very bones and would have left him there to die. _

_The Snake was fortunate to be found by a boring mudboy living in a boring dirt house, who saw the snake and felt sympathy not fear. The mudpeople were stupid and feared the Snake because he was different, even though he had never done them harm. The mudboy picked up the snake, holding him close to its heart, letting his body heat warm the frozen creature. _

_The Snake was young and stupid and thought that the mudboy was the most caring kind person he had ever met. The Snake stayed with the mudboy, even though the rest of the mudpeople were cruel and threw sticks and stones and names at the Snake. They whispered poisoned words to the mudboy even where the Snake could hear. _

_The mudboy went to the Snake and asked what the Snake would give for him saving its life. And the Snake, who had thought he was already giving so much, said for as long as the mudboy held the snake's heart, the mudboy would never want for anything. The Snake was young and very foolish and he still thought the mudboy was good._

_But the mudboy learned to want, and the more he wanted the more he took and too soon what the Snake was willing to give was not enough. When the Snake tried to leave the cruel boy reached into his chest, plucking out his heart and taking it for himself. Which he then wore as a trophy over his own heart. _

_The Snake was forced to serve the cruelboy, to cater to his whims and demands. But Snakes live longer than boys, mud or cruel, and he knew if he just waited then he would be free. He could lick his wounds, learn his lesson, and never, ever deal with boys again. That was how it was meant to be._

_The cruelboy would die, the Snake would retrieve his heart, and it would be happily ever after. That didn't happen. The cruelboy gave the Snake's heart to his boychild, who gave it to his boychild, and each of them found new and crueler ways to command the Snake. _

_Well joke's on them, all those cruelboys, all of them rich in material things and not one with a drop of kindness. No one is meant to have two hearts and so each of theirs withered and died in their chests, while the Snake's still beats._  
  
-

"Give me back my heart, rudeboy. It is mine not yours, and it will be your doom."

Daniel picked over the story. "Okay, let me get this straight, my family's entire wealth is because of your influence?"

"Yes."

"That's hard to believe. My grandfather told a different tale."

"He was a liar, and now he's dead."

"He said that the Snake was the one who took and the boy the one who gave."

"Try it," the Snake said bitterly. "Hold my heart for seven days, see what fortune and wealth comes to you. Perhaps you too will convince yourself that it is only what you deserve, that it was no gift at all, but you earned it. But still, just in case, you will keep my heart. Perhaps you'll promise to free me when you have enough wealth and all the other things you want. Your grandfather made those promises."

"He didn't keep them." Daniel said. He remembered tales of caution, of what happened when Pandora opened the box. So many stories of captured monsters tricking their way out of an imprisonment they deserved. And heroes tricking them into it. "Did you bite the 'mudboy'?"

"Yes." There was no shame in the Snake's voice, in fact he seemed proud. "I bite them all eventually."

Daniel looked down at the bitemark on his hand. Was there poison there? He took in the sharp claws, the fangs glistening in his mouth. Yet those claws had not drawn blood when he'd pounced on Daniel. "When I give you your heart, what will you do?"

"I will make every single person who profited from my misery, be that directly or indirectly, pay for what they have done. I will feast on their blood and drink their tears and their screams will be music to my ears."

"And me?"

"First or last, you decide."

"Let me think on it."

Ysandro glared at him, unblinking. 

Daniel held the heart in his hands. Could he feel the thrum of life beneath the crystalline surface. Could he truly condemn his entire family to be massacred by this monster. He knew there was a trickery here he could perform. He'd read enough stories of the brave hero facing up against the monster, and surviving by his wits. There were words that could twist and trap. But Daniel was never the clever one.

"This is where the temptation of wealth wins out. Where you decide there's no harm in keeping me a slave for a week, and then another after that." Ysandro said, as if he'd already spoken such words countless times before. 

What would Daniel do with the money? University? Travel? Actual heating that worked and three meals a day and the ability to help his friends. He'd seen what greed had done to his family, but he wouldn't end up like that. Would he?

"Did you know they disowned me. They're not my family anymore." Daniel knew there was a trick in there he could have used, a way to save them if he'd just phrased it right. He was exhausted though. 

"Your grandfather thought you enough of family that he sent me to you."

"Why did he do that?"

"He hated you most, or least. He wanted to curse them or you. Why do cruelboys do anything? To be cruel."

"I'd rather you didn't kill them all."

"I'd rather they hadn't ripped out my heart and kept me as a slave. Each and every one of them has profited from my misery. Each and every one of them would continue to do so if they had been given my heart. Yet I am the monster."

"Are you?"

"Yes. This is where you decide that because I am a monster, you are justified in keeping me a slave. Where you convince yourself it is to protect the world."

"No." Daniel said. "If you're real - no don't bite me, please - then you're part of the world just like I am. How many have my ancestors have promised to free you and then not?"

"Cruelboys are all the same, promises made of ash."

"I know there's nothing I can do to make amends for what my family has put you through."

"Ask."

"Can I do anything make amends? Is there any way I can save my family from your wrath."

"No. Ask again."

"What do you want me to do?"

"A heart for a heart."

"Mine doesn't come out like yours. I can't live without it."

"I know. Do you think my existence is living? To lose your heart will hurt less and for a shorter time that I have suffered. Hardly a fitting payment for centuries of slavery. It need not be your heart, any of your family would suffice. The more the better in fact. I could help you. We could do it together. A little revenge for both of us."

Daniel shuddered. "I know I'm meant to set conditions on your freedom. Make you make promises of do no harm, forgetting all the harm that has been done to you. I know I should put a price on mine." 

"Suddenly you know so much, rudeboy," Ysandro sneered. 

"You can take my heart.But take your own first." Daniel thrust the necklace at him before he could second guess himself. 

Ysandro snatched the medallion, lightning fast. The gem pulsed bright red, racing at first, then slower, steadier. The Snake kept staring at it, stunned, overcome with emotion. "I will return in three days for your heart. If you run away, I will find you." There was a softness to his voice that had been absent earlier.

"Wait, what's your favourite food?"

"Why?" It was Ysandro's turn to look thoroughly confused. 

"If I've only three days left to live, might as well make my last meal memorable." Daniel hoped it wasn't something live. He did not like the idea of insects or mice scampering around his table. "What do you like?"

"Eggs."

Daniel breathed a sigh of relief. "Three days then." He'd have to make the most of them.


	2. Are Eggs Tastier than Hearts?

Daniel splurged his paycheck. If he only had three days then he might as well make his last meal a feast, or at least as much of a feast as his minimum wage salary could afford. And then he searched for egg recipes, all those that claimed to be the best in the world. 

Three days later he had his hovel cleaned, and the heating up high. He probably should have said his goodbyes but he hadn't worked out quite what to say. It all felt like such a strange dream he was still floating through.

The bite-mark, his one piece of evidence for the incident, throbbed sometimes, but otherwise seemed to be healing. Daniel went through life as normal and on the third day he dealt with the eggs.

-

Daniel almost didn't recognise the man who arrived in his house, he was brown haired, golden-skinned, and dressed in actual clothes. Yes, clothes that undoubtedly cost more than Daniel brought home in a month, but clothes none the less. Only his eyes had a hint of the snake about them.

"Ysandro. Where's your feathers?"

He looked well. Good in fact. It wasn't that he hadn't looked good before, but he was just so much healthier and more vibrant than he'd been. Ysandro even smiled. "In the wash. Give me your heart."

"Can it wait until after we've eaten?"

"What's another broken promise?"

"Just, if you take it now, I won't be able to serve your tea, or finish cooking."

"You have until I have finished eating, and no longer."

Daniel thrust a tray of devilled eggs at him. "So, eggs is kind of, I was going to get tea eggs and the other fancy eggs at the asian market. Or duck eggs, or quails, they're tiny though."

"Crunchy. Barely more than a bite," the Snake agreed.

"I know. Right. And so fiddly. But, everyone likes devilled eggs, right? Even if they're chickens." Ysandro was methodically working his way through the entire plate as Daniel spoke. "How do you like your steak?"

"Mooing." 

"Oh. Of course. Like you want me to chop it up first, or hit the pan with it, or just like it is?"

"Why do you keep asking me questions?"

"Nervous. It's not every day you eat your last supper."

"It does not matter."

"It matters to me." 

Daniel quickly searched for a steak tartare recipe and did his best to make it, kicking himself for not thinking of it before because of course Ysandro wanted it all raw. He put his own steak on to fry, just as Ysandro declared "the eggs have been devoured."

"Oh.There's a few more there if..." Ysandro popped the first raw chicken egg into his mouth, shell and all, then crunched down. "Or you can just eat them like that."

Ysandro stared at him, unblinking, as he ate the rest of the carton of raw eggs. Crunch. Crunch. Crunch. Daniel tried not to shudder. 

"I thought snakes were meant to swallow them whole, not bite them."

"I like the crunch and I have teeth."

"Okay, all finished here." 

Daniel poured two glasses of sparkling white wine for them and served up their steak. 

Ysandro sniffed the wine and sneezed at the bubbles. Which was probably a good thing. It was red wine with steak wasn't it and Daniel'd bought white and...

Ysandro looked at his fork, then the knife, and then staring defiantly at Daniel, he scooped up the food with his hands to eat. The raw egg and the raw steak and the dressing it was not the cleanest way to eat. 

"Who taught you table manners?"

"They did not see the need to feed me."

"Oh. Oh no." Daniel was horrified. "I'm so sorry."

Ysandro scooped up more raw meat to devour.

Daniel cut off a bit of his own steak. It was good. Steak. Egg. Chips. Mustard. Comfort food. It was one of the first meals he'd eaten after... 

Finishing his food, Ysandro leaned impossibly close, staring at Daniel's plate. 

"Still hungry?" Daniel asked.

"Starving."

"Are you going to eat this with your hands too?"

"Yes." Daniel cut his steak in half, and flipped it onto Ysandro's plate. The snake began gnawing on it. "Burned is not so bad."

"That's a perfect medium rare I'll have you know."

"Burned. You humans burn all your food."

"Not all. So, how've you been? How's freedom been? Killed any of my family yet?"

"You will be the first."

"I'm flattered, I guess." Daniel forced a smile. 

"I did report them all to the boringmen."

"Boringmen?"

"The ones who are serious about money. They come, they take the money. They do not like juggling of the numbers and making them dance. Millions become thousands, become losses become boring. It's all dragon hoarding without any of the fun of rolling about on a pile of gold."

Daniel smiled, briefly. He supposed he should take pleasure in the idea of them being investigated by the taxmen, or the fraudsquad, or whomever the boringmen were. 

Ysandro stole more of his food and Daniel let him and once both plates were clean, Ysandro demanded. "Give me your heart."

"Um, there's dessert, and tea."

"I don't want it. I want your heart."

"Um... okay? Uh, I got you a gift first. Wait a second." Daniel took the plates into the kitchen, putting them in the sink, and at least he wouldn't need to worry about the washing up now, or should he do it anyway... or... only he was stalling. He picked up the gift he'd bought and carried it back through.

Ysandro pounced, peering at it. "What is that? It's so big." He poked at it with a finger... claw. So the human guise he'd arrived wearing had mostly slipped. Still hair and not feathers though, although it was styled much the same. 

"Ostrich egg."

"Fierce runner. It's mine?"

"Yes." 

Ysandro snatched it away, wrapped both arms around it and settled down on the couch. He mouthed at the top of it but there was no way it was going to fit in unless he was really good at doing the snake thing of unlocking his jaw and Daniel really didn't want to see that.

"If your plan was for me to eat this, and then go to sleep to digest it, so you could steal my heart it won't work."

"Never. I just thought you'd like it."

"I am taking it home with me and I am going to enjoy it. Later. Now. Give me your heart." Ysandro stared at him expectantly.

Daniel stared back and finally asked. "Um. How?"

"Reach into your chest and pluck it out?"

Daniel tried, but his heart remained where it had always been. "Um. It doesn't work like that. And I dunno if I can use a knife. Can't you just take it?"

"No. The deal was you give it to me."

"I'm sorry, I don't know how."

"I will ask every day until you do." Ysandro didn't seem that bothered. "It is mine and you will give it to me." Before Daniel could say anything more, Ysandro added. "I am going to sleep now." 

Daniel expected him to disappear, like he had before, but instead the Snake slithered. through to the bedroom. Daniel was so glad he'd changed the sheets. 

"Aren't you going to go home or...?"

"This is my home until you fulfil your part of our bargain." Ysandro flopped down on the bed, made himself comfortable, and fell asleep.


	3. Give me your heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mostly some sweet relationship stuff. 
> 
> I tried to write some sexytimes but this ridiculousness happened instead.
> 
> Some **discussion** of non-standard Snake anatomy. (Spikes! Hemipenis! No Nipples! Ability to unhinge jaw and swallow things larger than his head.) Other than the no nipples/navel, Snake is all talk and trolling. He thinks these things are sexy.)
> 
> Mention of past slavery and attempted sexual assault. (While slaves can't consent, being a magical monster with a mouthful of fangs and venom and a penchant for biting things, is a powerful deterrent.)
> 
> FINISHED!!!

After the third night of sleeping on the floor, while the snake hogged his entire bed, Daniel had enough. He just shoved the snake over, grabbed as much covers as he could and from that point on they shared the bed. 

Daniel more often than not woke up to a snake curled around him, limbs tangled together and praising his warmth. Because that's what his life had come to now, he was just a man-sized hot-water bottle, there for a snake's comfort. 

The scales, to Daniel's surprise, weren't slimy at all, they were so warm and smooth and there were enough areas that felt like skin instead. Not that the touches were anything other than the casual contact of two touch-starved people sharing a bed when one of them was possibly constrictor snake. But when Daniel'd accused Ysandro of being in the constrictor family the Snake had just mumbled, sleepily "bad math eat man and warm for day keep man warm forever"'.Which Daniel just filed away as yet another thing he probably shouldn't ask about. There were lots of those.

Ysandro was true to his word. Every single day, when Daniel least expected it or it was most inconvenient he'd ask the question. His favourite was to wake Daniel up and yell "give me your heart!" to which, after the fifth time of that, Daniel had grumbled, "why don't you go to my work, and I'll sleep all day for once."

Ysandro had. 

Daniel was still trying to piece together exactly what he'd done there. How much damage could one snake do in an 8 hour shift? They'd all thought the Snake was him for some reason, which was another thing for Daniel not to question. They didn't even look at all alike. 

It wasn't exactly bad, his coworkers were a lot nicer to him now, he'd received an inexplicable pay-rise without corresponding responsibilities, and his bosses no longer messed around with his hours or tried to guilt trip him into working on his days off or staying later than he was scheduled. 

No one talked about it. And it had taken Daniel a while to notice that Creepy Kev, and some of the more obnoxious regulars had stopped showing up and when he'd spotted any of them in the street they'd look at him with fear and give him a wide berth. 

Ysandro refused to say what happened, only that he most certainly hadn't eaten them. Which was just as well. Daniel dreaded to think of the forms he'd have had to fill out to deal with that sort of workplace incident. 

Daniel had worried that Ysandro had somehow been forced to follow his order but the Snake had just laughed and said that he'd done it because it was boring when Daniel was all work work work. Just to be safe Daniel kept ordering Ysandro to do increasingly odder things, none of which were ever done.

Ysandro wasn't the worst house guest Daniel had had. Sure he didn't pay any rent, or do any cleaning, he hogged the blankets, kicked in his sleep, and for all Ysandro ran the heating too high 24/7, somehow the gas bill was a lot less than it should have been. 

Sometimes Daniel would return home to find that the snack he really wanted had already been eaten, along with the rest of the contents of the fridge and the cans had been gnawed on because inconceivably the snake refused to learn how to use the tinopener, and the snake was still hungry despite having raided all the food in the house. But then Ysandro would put on his human face, and they'd go grocery shopping, which the Snake always considered the greatest of treats. He was the veritable kid in a sweetshop, if that child preferred eggs, and weird items you couldn't pronounce, and just anything that took his fancy at any given moment.

The Snake acted as if the simplest tasks were an adventure, and the sheer joy he exuded was contagious. "We are hunting!" he'd say proudly. And "so much prey!" And he'd glide on the trolley, speeding down the aisles, and beware anyone who was in his way. 

They usually shopped after midnight. It was safer that way.

Even if they filled the entire trolley up, and Daniel didn't catch all the times Ysandro replaced basics items with the ones that had the shiniest packaging, it never ended up costing more than he could afford. 

Daniel did his best not to look at the numbers too closely. 

It wasn't even as if the Snake was always there. Sometimes he'd be absent for days, and Daniel would inevitably find a note making the dreaded demand but see no actual sign of Ysandro. He sort of missed the Snake on those days. It felt emptier without him, returning to a quiet house and an empty bed.

Daniel knew where this was going, there was only one way for it to end, yet neither of them had really made a move in that direction. He might not be the cleverest, but he also wasn't a complete fool. He knew the other meaning of 'give me your heart' and it shouldn't have worked, the constant demands and annoyances, the take and take and take. The guilt Daniel held for all that his family had done.

"Am I another set of chains upon you?" Daniel had asked.

Ysandro had given him a quizzical look. "Why do you ask?"

"I don't know what you're doing here."

"What I want." Ysandro smiled. "I am doing what I want to when I want to and no one can make me do anything else. It has been so long since I could just do that. For now I want to stay here."

"And when you grow bored?"

"Then we'll go elsewhere."

Daniel's stomach did an unexpected flip. "We?" 

"You are mine."

"What if I don't want to be?"

Ysandro's expression fell. He looked hurt."I'll bite you again. And then you'll go."

"Like dead go?"

"How can I get your heart if it's dead? I will bite you so you remember always, your promise and how you broke it. Then when you get bored, you'll come find me again. Why're we speaking of ends when it hasn't even begun?"

"You think something will begin?"

"Yes. Of course. When my heart has healed and yours has too. When they're whole and new. For now we hide in our hovel. Safe and warm. We lick our wounds. We learn to feel. We heal." 

Daniel shuffled over to sit next to the Snake, wrapping an arm around him, holding him close. He'd not realised that this was what it was, healing.

"When Spring comes, then we decide what we're going to do with the rest of our lives," Ysandro continued. 

"We?" Daniel echoed again. 

"Of course we. You're mine." There wasn't the slightest trace of doubt in his voice, and Ysandro hugged Daniel possessively, maybe a little too tight. "There's a world out there and it's so much smaller than it was the last time I was free." The snake let go, leaning back to look at Daniel's face. "We can fly anywhere without needing wings of our own. We can do anything! See the entire world. Eat all the eggs. There are fish that fly and birds that swim and wonders unimaginable! There are places no one else has ever been. I want to see it all."

"I'm not sure I can afford it."

"Don't worry about money." Ysandro was so alive and vibrant. "You could always ask me to magic up some."

"Never!" Daniel said sharply. "Never. I will work five jobs before I ever even think of that. If you want spending money for yourself, get a job," Ysandro's nose had wrinkled at the very prospect. "Or don't," Daniel quickly added. "We'll…" oh there he was with the we'lls too, "we'll make do."

Ysandro had looked at him as if he was the most precious thing in the world  
There were lips upon his and they were… warm, earnest. Daniel kissed him back and it was strange, the tongue, the fangs, the niceness of it all.

"There are forests full of real flying snakes." Ysandro continued with his dreams. "I want to see them fling themselves from trees. I want to learn how. I am not leaving you behind. I want to see one land on your head and I will laugh and laugh and laugh." Daniel couldn't help but smile at that vision. "I will wait here until you're ready to go." It was almost a threat.

Oh Daniel wanted this. Wanted this dream. This adventure. This ridiculous snake. "If I'm never ready?"

"Then you'll magic it up on your box and we'll watch them together and then we'll go on an adventure to somewhere else. You've still not taken me to the maze store we can wander in for hours and find new and stranger puzzles with cryptic instructions on how to assemble and items with strange strange names. I want to see theme parks and scream on all the rides. I want to go in a car wash! I want, I want, I want."

"You don't need me to…" 

Ysandro silenced him with a kiss, and then another, and then, "want!" which were followed with a few mumbled, "wants", and there was a bit of gnawing which didn't involve any fangs piercing fleshl.

"Okay," Daniel said, agreeing to everything and nothing. "I want." He echoed, and he did. This strange dream and this strange snake. So much selfish want.

There were more kisses and it was not the heat of desire but instead the warmth of want threatened to overwhelm him. This just from kissing, had it ever been so nice? And sure Ysandro was beautiful, and strange and weird and there was a name for it all that came bubbling to Daniel's lips. "I love you." 

It had been inevitable from the moment Daniel had promised his heart. And he knew it could not be returned. Did not wish it to be. He did not want the Snake to be vulnerable to him, didn't ever want to hurt him. 

Daniel knew that now was when Ysandro should rip his heart from his flesh, shatter it to a million pieces, and make him pay. That this dream would be snatched away from him as quickly as it had been offered. 

But, there wasn't a single trace of cruelty there. 

"That's because I'm wonderful and right," Ysandro smirked. 

Daniel laughed and all the worries were washed away with a wave of fondness and maybe it would work out, maybe it wouldn't…

"It's the hemipenis, isn't it?"

"What?" Daniel blurted out.

"Snakes. Hemipenis. That's what you love. You've asked your box about it haven't you? Spent hours staring at the pictures. Spines. Hooks. Two."

"No!" Daniel blushed fiercely. How had they even gotten here, one minute speaking of their lives together, the next. "No. You have…? What's?" And he was staring and trying to work out how it worked and wishing now that he'd searched and did that sound fun or not at all and Ysandro was laughing. "This is a joke?"

Ysandro kept laughing and Daniel joined in and he wasn't even quite sure of why and it didn't matter either. "Ask your box."

"Why adventure around the world when we can start our adventures in bed?" Daniel quipped.

"That sounds like my motto," Ysandro's smile was radiant. 

"I didn't mean napping."

"Did you know snakes can swallow things larger than their heads. No gag reflex."

"Fuck…" Daniel blushed deeper, and he squirmed. And he had known, but put that way, with that leer. "You meant my… uh…"

"Would you like to see? Feel?" 

"You have a mouthful of fangs and poison."

"Just two."

"Just two mouths?"

"Fangs." 

"And do you really have two… um… penises? Hemi's two?"

"It means half. They're like those inflatable snakes in a can, only there's two of them, not one, and you open it up, they both pop up… Surprise! And mess goes everywhere,"

Daniel laughed. "That must be like the least sexy description of a sexual organ I've ever heard."

"And yet you said organ." Ysandro snorted.

"So snakes in a can? And they're covered in spines and hooks and… oh wait, half, does that mean they're tiny? Awwww… how adorable..."

Ysandro wrinkled his nose. "I'll have you know I am mighty and majestic not adorable."

"Of course you are," Daniel teased. "So do I get to see them?"

"I have legs. I don't have a tail."

"Hmm?" Daniel wasn't quite following, and then his thoughts began to spiral again. "Did… my ancestors? Did any of them?"

"What?"

"You were their slave. Did they force you...?"

"To sex?" Ysandro shrugged. "Most of them liked women. And, as you pointed out, I have a mouthful of poison and fangs. It's actually venom. I really, really, like biting. A cruelboy would need to be either extremely brave or extremely stupid to tackle those dangers. Guess which your ancestors were?"

Daniel didn't need to ask.

"Most never tried it twice. I also have two handfuls of knives," he flourished his claws. "And feet. You don't fuck your golden goose unless you're really, really stupid. Not when you can use your wealth to buy a flock of normal geese and then just paint them gold."

"I don't think normal geese would like that much either."

"So to answer your question, yes, some tried. The worst ones were those who started sweet, who made all the promises and as they grew older they changed."

"I don't want to end up like that."

"You won't. You ended the curse. Gave me back my heart with absolutely no conditions, limitations or demands. No waiting, no I'll do it tomorrow. No strings. Even when I was heartless monster. Even when you could have made excuses not to. You gave it back." There was a fierce intensity in every single word.

Daniel gazed down, uncertain of how to respond. "Anyone would."

"No. No one else did. No one even tried. And then, as if that was not enough for you to return my heart, you offered me yours. You didn't even ask what it meant or try to trick your way around it. You were terrified. It is your most precious thing but you offered it to me. A monster."

"It was my family that were the monsters. You're just a very pretty snake."

"Not your family. They disowned you. Fools. You're mine now. Let's forget about them." Ysandro said. "If we keep stabbing ourselves with their knives we'll never heal. Do you want to go on a brave new adventure with me, explore territories unconquered, seek out…"

"Are you speaking about your ass?" Daniel couldn't resist trying to lighten the mood.

"Rude!" Ysandro laughed. "I'm speaking about yours."

"Brave of you to assume it's unconquered."

"Mine!"

They descended into laughter and kissing, which was quickly followed up with groping and then the move to the bed, and the awkward removal of clothes.

"Liar, there's only one!" Daniel complained, which wasn't really a complaint at all. "It's very nice" Daniel conceded. "Very pretty." 

"It is my majestic member not my pretty penis." Which set them both off into laughter again. 

"I am disappointed in the lack of spikes." Daniel wasn't. 

"Imagine how I feel," the snake retorted.

Any further comments were cut off by the heat and warmth and sheer pleasure of Daniel's mouth and he didn't need to be a snake to do this right. It was messy and fun and Ysandro was more man than he was not, at least physically and that was so delightful because it meant Daniel knew how everything worked, more or less. 

To make the snake come undone with pleasure was such a joy.

"No nipples," Daniel had grumbled and Ysandro has snorted. "They're useless on men." And Daniel had challenged him to discover how wrong he was, and since Daniel was the only one with them, that meant a lot of teaching. And the whole night had gone much like that. Daniel didn't think he'd ever had so much fun.

And then Daniel had lain with his ear on Ysandro's chest, listening to the pounding of his heart, delighting in every single beat.

"I love you." Daniel'd murmured as they lay sleepy and sated, twined in each other's arms. "How could any of them…"

"Ssssshhh," Ysandro murmured sleepily. "They're not welcome here." He was so strange and wonderful and beautiful and...

"You didn't ask your question today."

"Sleeping," Ysandro grumbled which he clearly wasn't.

"Ask." Daniel poked Ysandro with a gentle finger. "The amount of times you've woken me up with it. Ask."

"Is not a question." Ysandro didn't even bother to open his eyes. "Give me your heart." 

"My heart's already yours."

The selfish snake had just mumbled something like 'I know' and promptly fallen asleep as if this wasn't a huge revelation. As if the declaration was not him finally achieving what he'd spent months demanding. As if it wasn't the end goal at all but instead the start of something wonderful.


	4. Bonus: The Snake Who Wanted To Be A Dragon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is just a little drabble of what happened to Ysandro's feathers. No need to read it since it's not that relevant to the rest of the story, I just wanted to put it up.

Ever since he'd been an egg, Ysandro had wanted to be a dragon. Some said he'd delusions of grandeur. Others he should be content crawling on the safety of the ground. Many, who didn't know snakes at all, said that this was their curse. 

Because snakes only crawled, they never burrowed or swam or climbed, and they certainly never flew and they definitely never dreamed of being dragons. 

Ysandro envied the dragons and their wondrous wings that took them soaring over the world instead of crawling on top of it. It wasn't even that he didn't like being a Snake, Snakes were awesome, and he loved being himself, he just wanted to be a Dragon too. 

He'd been so young when he'd approached the first dragon, and begged. "Teach me how to fly."

"Don't be foolish, you're a snake, you were never meant to fly, just as we were never meant to crawl."

Ysandro had bit the dragon, and then slithered away through a hole too small for it to follow. Stupid wings. Stupid dragon. Maybe if it could crawl it would have caught him, but it never deigned to lower itself to do such a thing.

He'd been slightly older when he'd sought out the second dragon. That dragon had laughed at him, so he bit it too, right on the tail, and this time he used his venom, so it swelled up and all the other dragons laughed at the one that was bested by a Snake. 

The third dragon he'd loved, and it had loved him, and they'd been happy for a while, until the dragon met another of its kind, and told Ysandro he should stop trying to be something he wasn't. That had hurt, he'd thought the third dragon had understood him, he'd thought they had something. He bit that dragon too, a sharp lovebite that would scar and which he would always be remembered by.

The fourth hadn't been a dragon at all, but a bird, one that crunched bones and feasted on the dead. He'd said that all creatures served a purpose, and Ysandro should accept what his was. By that time Ysandro no longer had his heart, and his dreams of becoming a dragon were just that, memories of a thing he wanted when he had once felt things. He'd hoped that in becoming what he'd once longed for, he could regain a small shard of his heart. So he stole the bird's feathers and flew off. He hadn't even thought to bite him. 

It hadn't worked. But Ysandro had loved his feathers more than anything and anyone. He could fly as he'd always dreamed. And there was escape in the sky, chasing clouds, riding the breeze. It was everything he'd ever wanted, but there was no one to share it with and he couldn't even feel the joy he knew should be there.

The first thing Ysandro had done, when he regained his heart, was make a date with the very pretty boy who'd offered not one heart, but two. And the second was he returned the feathers. There was a debt there he knew he would have to pay one day, heavy in his new heart, weighing him down. But for now he just gave them back and then went in search of home.

When he did become a dragon he'd make his own wings.

**Author's Note:**

> Please comment. Please. :)


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